Is your private life subject to public scrutiny? Do you work in the public's eye? Think about how it would feel when you walk into the office to hear laughter, the trailing remarks about online dating and then dead silence. The pack is disbanding as you draw near checking out the fun. The computer screen is all telling, the screen showing a dating site and whose profile is tagged? Your profile of course.

There you are; but you never intended for people in the office to view your profile. That never crossed your mind as you sat thinking ? thinking hard to come up with an appealing nick name and the head line phrase to get attention. At the time, you were selling yourself. Look at me. I am cool. I am smart. I am rich. I am handsome I am beautiful, Ride with me on my Harley, Captain seeks First Mate for fun in the sun and under the stars. Then it gets to the really personal stuff.

Did you just drop your briefcase? You only posted the profile the other night and people have started rating you. A three? You got a 3 out of 6. What a great way to start a Monday. Now you are wishing you had fought off the "FREE MEMBERSHIP" and "Post a FREE PROFILE" sales pitch. You could certainly afford the membership fee; but hey it was a free trial membership. So there you are. Great!

There is nothing wrong or embarrassing or bad about wanting to meet and make new friends and acquaintances on all levels. You have devoted time, lots of time to a career that is rewarding. Your success has been hard earned. Wanting to meet that special someone is normal. Just thinking about the work friend who tried to fix you up or the friend of a friend blind dates you have lived through is enough to make you think about throwing in the towel. Does a relationship founded on strong common interests sound exciting? Do you seek a personal relationship but don't want your likes and desires displayed for any web user surfing the net to read without any kind of membership? This sentiment is shared by teachers, professionals, CEO's, MD's, band members, real estate professionals, and the list continues to grow. What happened to the premise of privacy having value in our lives.

Have you ever made contact with someone on a dating site who appealed to you and received replies like ?I just met someone and would like to see how it is going to work out.?? Or the person just sends a smile repeatedly. You think they are not a member and cannot contact you but truly want to. You pay the membership fee just to be able to communicate with this person. The person?s profile is no longer available. Did they violate a taboo dating rule? Were you too late and they were swept up and off the site by someone who was already a paying member?

We are all adults here. Let?s look a little closer. From the thousands of members most dating sites boast; more like 3% of the profiles in many dating sites [This includes the BIG GUYS] are active profiles to a real person with whom the two of you can freely communicate with each other. [Internet Dating and Beyond by Benjamin Gal-Or]. Does that surprise you?

Let?s go back to the sales pitch for a moment. "Post a FREE PROFILE" and "FREE TRIAL MEMBERSHIP". You see right there in front of you, the dating site?s sales pitch to join free. Great, you can talk to the really good looking people prominently displayed. ?Wow?, you think, ?I could never meet anyone in my town as attractive and interesting as this person. This online dating is a ticket to could be stars and starlets.? You complete the information to join free and upload the best photos you can find of yourself. After all first impressions are lasting.

With your membership approved you begin to introduce yourself to a sea of ready, willing, who are available to contact and could be matches. Could improving your love life really be this easy? Why had it taken you so long to take the plunge into online personals?

Your trial membership comes quickly to an end. It is now time to pay for the service. If you met someone during the trial period, you have no interest in paying for the service just to edit your profile. If you did not get the replies you had anticipated from the messages you sent out, you may be hesitant to pay for the service as well. So what happens to your profile? It belongs to the website. Read their privacy and policy sections. Your photo and profile are great advertising for the site.

?Free Search? you do not have to be a member to look at whom you can send a message to if you were to join. Your now dormant profile has joined the thousands upon thousands of dating member profiles that act as great advertisement for the dating site. Sure you can send that person an email and, if their email is the same as when they were an active member, the dormant member receives a notice to renew their membership so they can read it. The last time you searched a dating personals site; how many profiles had not active in the last 30 days or other similar notice in their profile as the member?s last login? And if the dormant member?s email address has changed, when you send that message to introduce yourself; the only notification goes to the dating site administrator as mail undelivered. Remember you are not sending a standard email; you are sending a message which the dating site delivers in their email system. For you as the sender, It appears as though the member you tried to contact has no interest in corresponding at the moment so you go back to see if they are still a member of the site. Yes, they are still there. Your [could be a] star or starlet is just not ready to chat for the moment. You will save them to your favorites or HOT LIST so they will see that you are interested when they login.

Marketing dormant profiles, as a come on in the online dating industry is a great member recruiting tool. When you, as a would be member think, what you see is what you get to communicate with is out the window in the greater percentage of the online dating sites. Sure there will always be members who become inactive or their membership will expire. There is room for change in this industry and truth in advertising. It seems not so much what is said that deceives; but rather what is not disclosed in the come on in pitch. I, years ago had posted to two dating sites using two different email addresses. Both I have not accesses in terms of years. Both are found in a non-member search. For one the email used in registering has not changed for the other it has. From time to time I would receive an email letting me know that I had a message waiting - All I need do was renew my membership. I did this once to find my message waiting in fact an invitation / reminder from the dating site administrator to come back /rejoin .

I think the number of people looking for personals networking warrants a little respect and integrity from this multi-billion dollar industry. Having experienced the scenario in the beginning of this article or similar; there are many who would welcome giving up the 30 day ?Free Trial? for a platform offering real people who have a real interest in meeting real and active people online for personal and business relationships, in an environment which offers some degree of privacy.

If you have questions about this article send an email to 2274@justlookingfornow.com